Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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