She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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