people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
