haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
