are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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