I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
