Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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