Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Screwed.edu
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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