I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I know her cup size but not her name....
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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