Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
