it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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