Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
This is classic penis vs brain.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
