we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
