Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
