What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
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