if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
organizing the empties. That sober.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
