Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
