I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Mom said you looked used
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
