hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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