First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
