the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
