Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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