Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
This toilet bowl is my home.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
