Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
