Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
