dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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