Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Well I just put wine in my tea
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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