You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
