Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
