census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Randomize
