even my farts smell like vagina
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
