Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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