We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
His nipple licking is glorious
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