While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
