Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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