How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
