My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
