i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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