You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I think people are normalizing furries
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
