youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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