i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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