hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
