I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Randomize
