I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
