AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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