my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
