We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
