My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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