I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
