Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
