Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
