Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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