nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Randomize
